Chaos. It surrounds us on a daily basis. And there’s always more of it to come, seemingly stacking the desk against us…if we don’t know how to handle it that is.
I used to not be able to respond to stress well AT ALL. The slightest little thing would freak me out and sometimes send me into full-blown depressions that lasted for WEEKS. Thankfully, after “eating glass” throughout this entrepreneurial journey and constantly reinvesting into my personal development, I’ve been able to identify 10 ways that you can cut the stress in your life and keep your bliss throughout all of life’s chaos.
Don’t overthink about having to do all 10 or “which one is the best”. Just open up some space to identify which one is powerful for YOU at the right moment when you might need to use it.
I cannot emphasize enough the power of breath, of paying attention to it, and of using it to GROUND yourself back into presence (which we’ll discuss in just a second). Next time you’re freaking out or getting stressed, pay attention to how you’re breathing. You’ll most likely find that all of the sudden you’re taking shorter breaths and breathing a lot faster. When you notice this, simply close your eyes for a second (unless you’re driving of course!) and take a few deep breaths.
And remember, it’s not just about getting through a few deep breaths as quickly as possible. Really sit there with your breathing and notice your body going from tense back to relaxed, your breathing going from shallow back to full deep breaths.
A few great tips can be adding a little note in your work area that simply says “BREATHE”, setting an alarm on your phone that goes off at a random time reminding you to breathe and even setting a wallpaper for your phone or computer that say “BREATHE”. Trust me, these little tricks can bring a smile to your face and keep you calm even when everything is going crazy.
2. BE PRESENT
One of the BIGGEST reasons why everything begins to build up and seem chaotic in our lives is simply because we step out of presence. We mentally project ourselves into the future and worry about things that haven’t even happened yet like fictional stories of not being able to pay bills.
Or on the flip side we project ourselves mentally back into the past and worry about things we “messed up” before that are literally not even real anymore. You can’t go bring me the past or bring me the future. But what you CAN do is step into the NOW, and breathing as mentioned earlier is a great way to do that.
I like to step briefly into the past to recall lessons I’ve learned from “mistakes” or put a big grin across my face remembering awesome memories with friends. But that’s all I use it for. With the future I’ll project myself into it to see where I’m taking my business, the direction of my life and new cool & exciting things I want to do or places I want to go.
But again, that’s all I use it for. When you use the past as a tool to feel guilty about “mistakes” and the future as a tool to worry about things that haven’t even happened yet, you’re ripping yourself away from presence, which is the place that real bliss comes from.
3. ZOOM OUT
Can we be honest for a second? Usually the stuff we’re stressing out about it microscopic but we’re making it into some gigantic thing that is seemingly impossible to conquer. You know what a small stress is? Stressing about a bill, stressing about “what you’re going to do next”, even stressing about something you did in the past that you can NEVER undo but are somehow trying to IMPOSSIBLY. My advice? ZOOM OUT. What’s the BIG picture?
Are you stressed about a bill? You have to collect money. Collecting money is fun! It can lead to wealth and massive impact beyond just you and your family and really create something that can have a lasting impact on millions of people all around the world!
See what I did there? You can reframe EVERYTHING!!! Haven’t been laid in forever because you don’t know how to get laid? Well, if you’re focusing on “not getting laid” then your life is going to SUCK! But what if instead you realized “Huh…all I have to do is LEARN how to get laid, and then whoa, I’m going to get laid!
It’s going to happen sooner than later! I’m going to get laid!” Maybe that’s a funny example that just came off the top of my head (hope you’re not suffering from that one) but do you SEE how easy it is to reframe everything for the positive results you’re going to get in the future by simply zooming out?
4. KNOW WHAT YOU WANT
If you don’t know what you want, everything in life is going to be so much harder than it needs to be. We’ve all heard the classic example of a guy that gets in his car and turns on his GPS and says “Take me somewhere I want to go that is awesome!!!” Well obviously, the GPS is going to need a little bit more to go on than just THAT.
You need to be specific and have LOTS of things you want so that you and the universe have lots of options for projects to co-create together. I could dive into a whole rabbit hole on this one, but short story is that people who know what they want usually get it and people who don’t know what they want end up working for someone who knows what they want and endlessly drift through life dissatisfied.
I’m currently reading a book “Happy Pocket Full Of Money” that is having me go through an exercise of writing down FIVE THOUSAND GOALS!!! That’s a lot right? It’s definitely going to stretch me and pull me out of my comfort zone to make such a list. But just STARTING the list everything is getting much clearer for me in life and business because I’m solidifying the direction I’m heading in. Without knowing where you want to go, even the smallest of problems will consume you and leave you stagnant like you’re getting sucked down into quicksand.
Even something as small as a $100 bill you need to pay. But knowing where you want to go, it’s like what an old mentor Mark Hoverson said to me a long time ago “Make your vision, your direction so gigantic that any problems coming your way are like flies hitting the windshield of your car that’s moving a million miles an hour, where you wouldn’t even notice them.”
5. MAKE CONSISTENT PROGRESS
Tony Robbins once said that progress IS happiness. It took me a while to fully understand this but as I’ve evolved in life and business more and more I’ve come to understand exactly what he was saying. If you’re not moving, you’re not going to be happy, period. But if you’re making progress and you can MEASURE the progress you’re making, you’re going to feel MUCH better. Progress creates momentum and momentum accelerates you down that path towards what it is that you want.
If you’re a writer and you haven’t written even one page of the book you want to publish, do you think you’re going to be as happy as the other writer who is already 25 pages deep? Of course not. Progress, no matter how slow, helps put you in that flow state where you know you’re making moves in your life and when you’re in that state, you’ll keep your bliss.
On the flip side, if you’re NOT moving and NOT taking action and NOT progressing in your life, then what’s going to happen? The mind monkeys are going to come in! See, if you’re always in motion and making progress towards what you want to do, you’re overwhelming the “thinking mind” with actions that are beneficial to your life, your business, etc. But as soon as you stand still, that little voice creeps in to tell you that you can’t do it.
And it’ll only get louder and louder the more you stand still without making progress. When you’re taking action, this voice barely even exists because you’re using what mental power you have to channel it towards the manifestation of something you desire. But don’t let it think for itself. Don’t EVER let it think for itself. Because if you PAUSE and let it do the talking, it’s going to tell you that you can’t do it, that you’re not good enough, to stay in your comfort zone, to not even try hitting your goals, and on and on until you get stuck with a mediocre life you hate waking up for each day. Silence this voice with action and bliss is inevitable.
6. ESTABLISH A MORNING ROUTINE
This is a biggie that took me years and years to master, even though I knew from the very start that successful people who had what I wanted ALL had morning routines. And solid ones at that. You should have a PLAN for how you’re going to enter your day, because if you don’t then that monkey mind is going to kick on right as you wake up and be so negative and so loud that you’re going to just want to stay curled up in bed and not even face the day.
But if you know what you’re going to dive into first thing, then it becomes something you can look forward to and something that gets you CENTERED as you start the day.
I use a great app called Coach.me where I plug in activities I want to do more often than not throughout the week and then as I do them I just check them off and it lets me know my PROGRESS (progress…hmm that sounds familiar!) So for example, today I woke up and hit my kegels (don’t laugh, you should do them too!), meditated, read for 30 minutes, drank some black coffee (I do intermittent fasting so I don’t start eating until 2pm) and then now I’m writing some blog posts offline since the internet is out here at the villa in Bali for a bit.
It’s my rest day so I’m not exercising but that’s something else I’d hit in the morning if it was my “ON” day, and then I dive into business stuff LATER ON so that I’m fully centered by the time I dive headfirst into the wild world of entrepreneurship. Research the morning routines of the most successful people out there and you’ll begin to find patterns of what they’re doing that you can model to craft your OWN routine. There are many reasons they do them, but one reason is because it centers you for the day, and when you’re centered you keep your BLISS.
7. MEDITATE DAILY
I ignored meditation for a long time as well, but once I really got into it, everything started to change for me, including the way I see the world around me. In addition to being more centered, I’d say I walk through life with the “calm, cool, collective” feel towards everything I experience, which was always a state I wanted to get to but had problems stepping into (before doing consistent meditation that is). I don’t even do anything all that crazy.
In the morning for 15 minutes I just sit lotus position in my bed, close my eyes, and focus on my breathing. When my timer goes off I’ll do a few deep breaths, open my eyes, and know that I’ve taken myself back to that centered and blissful place I can experience a new day from. Meditation is great to do anytime, but I especially like doing it in the morning as it kind of “sets the tone” for the day to come.
Another thing meditation does is quiet that monkey mind! And the more you meditate, the less your negative thoughts will come in throughout the day! You see, there is SO MUCH negative input coming in our direction all the time from society, the mainstream media, even friends and family, you name it! So you have to actively COUNTER all that crap by injecting positivity into your mind so you can keep your bliss and not end up in reaction mode freaking out about this and that and the other.
Darren Hardy of Success Magazine showed a great example of this at an event when he took a cup of muddy water and started pouring cups of clean water into it. It took a little while, but eventually the muddy water was all gone and only clean water remained! That’s what it’s like when you meditate! Introduce those moments of stillness where you are not thinking about ANYTHING, just paying attention to your breathing, and you’ll get rid of the “mud” (negative thoughts) at a much faster rate than going through life NOT meditating.
8. EXERCISE THROUGHOUT THE WEEK
If you are in business and you don’t exercise, I don’t know how you get through the day. Even for people who aren’t in business, this is incredibly important. We have to remember that we are PRIMAL BEINGS and our “primal brain” is still the one in control of us. In the grand scheme of things, it was not THAT long ago that we would wake up and run around ALL DAY to hunt, gather food, build shelters with out hands, etc. We’ve lost that with all the abundance we’ve opened up to as a society. Instead of hunting and gathering food we can just make a transaction online and have food brought to us.
Instead of gathering wood and building shelters we just pick a place we like and make another transaction. In our conscious mind we think we’re ready for this, but at a deeper level there’s a part of us going CRAZY because we’re not expending all that energy every day that we used to. Sitting all day in front of the computer or TV while snacking on chips is hardly anywhere near what our ancestors did on a daily basis when it comes to MOVING AROUND.
There are a million reasons to exercise and you don’t need me to tell you why it’s good for you. But I will say this: if you are NOT exercising and moving around a decent amount throughout the day, you’re going to have a bunch of pent up energy that will come out in the form of stress. Chemicals that need to get released through a workout session (the “hunt”) won’t get released and your body will hold them and turn them toxic.
This breaks down your body, freaks you out mentally, and that’s why a lot of people are not healthy and going through life in a mental fog, when all they had to do was exercise a few times a week to settle down that part of the mind and body that need it so desperately. Exercise is the best anti-depressant out there and will even help your bottom line improve in more ways than one. By keeping your body fueled, you keep your mind fueled, and that leads to incredible momentum in business that will take you where you want to go faster than you ever thought possible.
9. CONTRIBUTE TO THE VISION OF OTHERS
I love this point and it was certainly one I missed the mark on for a while when I got into business over a decade ago. I was in it for ME ME ME and not thinking of anyone else and because of that, not only did my results suffer but I SUFFERED too. We get what we want by helping others get what they want. If you want to experience something, help others experience it. Life is really as simple as that. (Read “Happy Pocket Full Of Money” if you want to understand this further). When we are just out for ourselves, we are seeing the world through a “lack” mentality vs. an “abundance” mentality.
When you are focused on helping others have amazing lives or creating amazing businesses or helping them in any way you can, you step into the abundance mentality full on, and the universe unlocks a lot of awesomeness for you. But if you are just “out for yourself” and always coming at everything from that “what’s in it for ME?” mentality then the universe will not show you as much abundance in your life because you’re choosing to be closed off and see the world through a lens of lack.
Contributing doesn’t mean you have to go build schools in Africa or volunteer 5 days a week at a soup kitchen or anything like that (although if you feel called to do that, GO FOR IT!) It simply means that as you’re looking to get something in life you’re going after, you’re helping bring others along with you on the journey. You’re sharing what you’ve learned, or you’re sharing resources of yours that you can share or offering advice where you know you can contribute. It’s one thing for you to hit a target. But it’s another to bring a whole bunch of people along with you for the ride.
And it’s more fun that way too! One thing you can do to contribute is Join Our Kiva Team over on the “Giving Back” page on this blog and pop over a $25 loan to an entrepreneur in a third-world country who would be THRILLED to be able to put that money towards their business they want to expand. I love contributing this way and Kiva makes it very easy. Remember, life is about GIVING not about GETTING, but the funny thing is that the more that you give, the more you’ll get what you want (and keep your bliss in the process).
10. SURROUND YOURSELF WITH SUCCESS
Straight up, you will not be happy if you surround yourself with unhappy people. You are the sum of the 5 people you spend the most time with. So if you hang around with 5 people who are always stressed out and complaining about everything, you’re eventually going to be the sixth. If you have to cut people from your life, cut people from your life. It’s not as big of a deal as you think it is because you’ll open up that space and soon positive people will appear to fill it.
I love surrounding myself with people who think big, want to do big things, want to contribute, and are always helping me take things to the next level. If someone doesn’t fit into ALL of those categories, they have no business being in my life because they’re going to bring me down, and since I only live once I don’t have time to live a life without the bliss!
Spend time listening to audios and watching videos and reading books created by successful people you want to model. Download their brains into your brain. Make sure the people you surround yourself with in person are doing the same and that they barely complain about anything if at all. If someone is a complainer, I’m going to cast them out of my life faster than you can blink. And once you understand how having just ONE person in your environment who complains a lot affects you, you’ll begin to do the same. RAISE YOUR STANDARDS as Tony Robbins would say and choose to put only the BEST people in your social circle so that you can live a truly abundant life surrounded by abundant people who are absolute pros at keeping the bliss!
A lot of times when people write big list posts like this they’ll say “You don’t have to do ALL of these things…” Well, I’m here to tell you that you DO have to do all of these things. But don’t worry, it doesn’t have to be overnight. And if it seems like a lot, just remember that if you’re consistent about introducing them to your life one by one or even a few at a time that after a while they will all be second nature and you won’t even have to think about them.
There are many more thing I could have put on this list but these are my top 10 (in no particular order) and if you get these down, I guarantee you’ll be able to keep the bliss regardless of whatever chaos life throws your way!
Let’s face it, most of what we’ve been taught throughout our lives from schooling, the mainstream media, even our PARENTS is bullshit. The world is a rapidly evolving place that is moving a million miles an hour, and you’re going to get swept away in the madness if you don’t zoom out and actually know what’s going on.
Now look, none of us have all the answers, I’ll be the first to admit that. But I’d say I am a little bit more “awake” than the average Joe out there who thinks that a college degree to make $60,000 a year is a “really good deal”.
The average person is asleep, walking around life in a haze and looking for a place to plug their umbilical cord into. Most of the time, they find anything but a positive source to connect it with.
Everyone gets lost in the lies out there, and when you get lost in the lies, the truth sounds so ridiculous that people will call you crazy or a conspiracy theorist just for QUESTIONING it.
It helps them stay in their little comfort zone, their bubble of mediocrity, and when they stay there they feel like “nothing bad is happening to them” even though EVERYTHING BAD is happening to them. They get swept away in the lies, and the lies lead to a very very mediocre life.
What Are The Lies?
There are only about…oh…a billion!!! Here’s a bunch just off the top of my head that people get absolutely consumed in and center their entire lives around believing:
1. You need to go to college to be successful
2. You need a job to make a lot of money
3. A job is secure and you can’t get benefits on your own
4. People only get rich because they were born into it
5. Money is bad and having it means you tricked others
6. Your government has a giant impact on your life quality
7. You HAVE TO settle down, get married and have kids
8. This is how it’s always been, so this is how it’ll always be
9. Exercising and eating healthy is “hard”
10. You need a lot of money to start a business
NEED I GO ON? I don’t think I can. I’m cringing a little bit just thinking of those things to type out because it’s been so long since those thoughts have entered my brain!
Those are ten out of about a BILLION lies out there that we are told on a DAILY BASIS with information being pumped into our heads from all around, and if we are not aware of these lies, they’re going to OWN US and then the quality of our lives will be absolute shit.
The world needs a wake up call. There’s a small percentage of people trying to wake up the masses, myself being one of them, and hopefully this post will be the beacon of light that you need to understand that you can create life on YOUR TERMS and nobody else’s. The world as a whole needs to be grabbed by the shoulders and shaken up a bit, and this post is going to be one of the many resources out there (if you LOOK) to help that happen.
So How Do We Shake Things Up?
The first thing we need to do is help spread information. Seriously, people will live their ENTIRE FUCKING LIVES working a job they hate because they think that’s the only way they can make money, and they’ll receive what, a measly $50,000 a year on average for it.
Every day they will wake up early and go do shit they hate for hours and hours (time they’ll never get back) and then they’ll come home and try to numb out in front of the TV instead of actively searching for information about how to live a DIFFERENT life.
If you’re reading this post, you’re probably an entrepreneur, someone who’s into personal development, someone who’s a “lifelong learner” or a category like that. AKA you’re probably a little (or a LOT) more awake than the average Joe out there. And you’re probably more awake because you’ve accessed information that the “sleeping people” have not accessed yet. So help get it in their hands!
There are kids who will stand on a corner and potentially get shot at just so they can sell cocaine to “make a lot of money” and a lot of money to them is a few hundred bucks a day made in VERY dangerous conditions. Meanwhile, there’s an entrepreneur who woke up today, sent out ONE email to some people in his audience, and has already made $10,000 from it before lunch. Which one is the “easy way to make a lot of money”?
Well to the person who’s in the environment where they see the people working jobs broke as fuck and the people selling cocaine driving around in nice cars, they think that selling cocaine is obviously the path to “riches”. But to the educated entrepreneur who knows that if you have a big list of people’s emails who want to hear from you, and you send them all an email at once with something for sale in it, that THAT is the “easy path to riches”.
That kid just sees two things: “People with jobs around here are broke” “People who sell cocaine around here have money”. So if he wants money, he’s obviously going to lean toward the path of selling cocaine. It makes sense! But what if a THIRD option is introduced where “People around here with online businesses make a LOT of money…and it’s SAFE!”
Then all of the sudden there’s another choice on the table, and when a choice is introduced, there are ALWAYS a percentage of people that take it. And the more that people take that choice, the more popular that choice becomes until other choices just seem silly to even consider. And it all comes from someone injecting information into an area where that information previously didn’t exist.
How Do We “Shake Things Up”? SPREAD INFORMATION!
It’s an ethical obligation for us to get more “sleepy people” in front of the people who are “awake” and yearning to help them (these days more than EVER). Share posts like this on social media. Tag friends in it that need to hear it. Doesn’t have to just be my content and it shouldn’t!
There are people at much higher success levels than me throughout the world who have poured out endless books, audios, videos, podcasts, you name it ABSOLUTELY FREE for the world to consume. Because they know that the more people who start to “wake up” will transform the world into a much more positive place.
If you’ve bought an awesome book that’s impacted your life, buy one for a friend. When people come visit you and see your environment, surround it with books about personal development and positive quotes/affirmations on your walls so they can step into an environment of positivity.
Hell, keep healthy foods and drinks in your fridge so that if a guest opens it they’re possibly pattern interrupted by not seeing the sweets and soda like so many people unfortunately stock up on just to lower their IQ points every day with all the chemicals inside that junk.
Be a beacon of light and shine bright enough for the whole world to see. If something has impacted you, TELL OTHERS ABOUT IT. Start a blog or a YouTube channel like I did and share what you’re learning as you take in lessons about life and business. Touching just ONE person with that stuff could create a MASSIVE ripple that will impact way more than just one person and could shift the world forever. And thanks to tools like social media and blogging and the internet, we can reach out to an incredible amount of people at the same time.
How Do We “Tear Down The Old”? CALL OUT BULLSHIT!
One of the worst things you can do is wake up in this world and then not call out the bullshit of the people who are asleep. If you just “get down to their level” and agree with them on things, even though you know those things are not true, then you’re not going to help them and you’re just going to reaffirm the bullshit that’s in their head and the world will continue to be just a LITTLE bit dimmer without their light fully shining.
I love it when I’m checking out at a grocery store and I ask people how they’re doing and they say “Fine” or “Well…it’s monday” or “Good because the weekend is coming.” I pattern-interrupt the SHIT out of those people to help give them a much needed jolt to let them know that there’s a whole different world out there that they might not be experiencing. Here are some of my favorite responses.
“I’m fine.” “JUST FINE? Not super-awesome-amazingly-fantastic???” (Brain explodes)
“Well…it’s monday.” “EXACTLY!!! How awesome are mondays? They’re my favorite!!!” (Brain double explodes)
“Good because the weekend is coming.” “Weekdays, weekends, who are we to label these things? Everyday is freaking awesome!!! Tell me the highlight of your week!” (Brain melts down on the floor in front of me)
If I hear someone say I need to get a job I remind them that I’m making more per month than most doctors do. If someone says I should have completed college I remind them that I’ve clocked multiple five-figure days in business and my college told me not to start a business.
If someone tells me I’m irresponsible for not voting I ask them if they even know what the Federal Reserve system is (controls all the money, aka controls the US Government, UNLIKE politicians who control nothing). Someone says something is hard and I tell them that it’s easy. Someone says something will take a long time and I remind them that it can happen sooner than they think.
I CALL OUT BULLSHIT when I see it because I hold myself to high enough standards to not accept it in my life OR the lives of people around me (no matter how brief the interaction is). My friend I’m hanging out with in Bali corrects me EVERY TIME I say something like “If this works…” by shouting “WHEN this works??? Is THAT what you meant to say???”
We call out bullshit together along with TONS of other positive people because calling out bullshit is one of these easiest way to tear down the negative beliefs that people have built up over so many years and will desperately cling to forever if they’re not called out by people like YOU and me.
How Do We “Bring In The New”? WE BUILD!
Remember, it’s not enough to just soak in information yourself or challenge the information of others that you know is not serving them. You need to also provide new information yourself, and with that comes building things that contribute to society as a whole. Take this blog for example. I could just keep all the lessons I’m learning daily in life and business to myself. But I’m not making as much of an impact that way. By actively sharing what I’m learning, I’m able to spread positive information, tear down negative belief systems and BUILD BACK UP positive belief systems in people ALL AT THE SAME TIME.
Building is VERY different from just trying to “put a bandaid on the problem” as so many people do. Graffiti in the hood often gets painted over, and then the artists just see a fresh new wall to put graffiti on again. That kind of shit is a “bandaid” approach. Someone SMART who comes into the community and opens up an art studio where kids can SELL their “graffiti” is BUILDING SOMETHING NEW that can cut out that problem forever.
No money in “vandalizing” the wall of a building. Plenty of money taking that same creative energy, and spray painting a piece on a giant board that you can sell for a few hundred or thousand bucks. Get it? We need to build NEW SYSTEMS to create NEW RESULTS.
It’s not enough for me to just call out college as one of the biggest scams ever to hit the world. I need to take responsibility for ushering in an entirely new system to help educate people, one I’m seeing entrepreneurs all over the place work together to build.
There has never been more information about how to build a positive business that contributes to the world where entrepreneurs actively share information with each other about SUCCESS and not just textbook-memorization like so many schools teach. When we build, we create something that is LASTING, which can have a positive impact on more people than we can even fathom. It’s in our nature to build anyway, so build we must.
There’s no need for violence, no need for protests and riots in the streets. Most of the time protests don’t do shit and riots 100% of the time just bring about destruction and create nothing new, nothing beneficial for the area they happened in.
If you want change, vote with your time, your energy, and your money. Don’t think that you “made a difference” because you ticked a box for some politician somewhere to “do good stuff” on your behalf. BE the change you want to see. Shake things up by spreading information that empowers people.
Tear down the old systems by calling out bullshit when you see it and not accepting bullshit in your own life. And usher in the new by actively BUILDING things that will contribute to society and the world as a whole. We have an ethical obligation to live this out, and it can start as soon as today.