Not saying I’m going to be sober for LIFE or anything but…here’s the deal:
I haven’t been 90 days 100% sober since middle school ended.
Was totally sober all through middle school and the summer before high school I had my first drink (can you guess what it was?) and smoked my first doobie.
Now look…I’m not a big drinker…got that out of the way in college.
Occasional glass of red wine? Sure, sounds good.
Occasional weekend where I drink a BOTTLE of red wine?
Not the WORST thing in the world…
I LOVE weed!
I smoke weed from the moment I wake up until the moment I go to sleep.
Everything I’ve ever created that you like…I’ve created stoned pretty much.
So…what’s the problem with it?
Maybe there IS no problem with it BUT…
…I haven’t run “THE SPLIT TEST”.
I’m OBSESSED with testing.
You can’t improve what you don’t track.
So literally for years and years and years…
I’ve never run the TEST of being sober.
Kind of crazy if you think about it…
I run a LOT of tests in my life.
Anyway, I remember in middle school BEFORE I started getting into this stuff…
THAT was when I had the most confidence I’ve ever had in my life.
Might sound kind of weird…most confident in MIDDLE SCHOOL?
Damn straight. And I was 100% sober doing it.
I did whatever the fuck I wanted.
I had ZERO fears of “getting in trouble”.
I dated all the hottest chicks in the school.
Shit, I’d roll into classes when they were halfway through and bring girls in that weren’t even IN that class and just sit down and argue with the teachers when they had anything to say about it and I’D WIN THE ARGUMENT!!!
I knew I was a PIMP.
Not like…a LITERAL pimp…but you know what I mean haha
This was BEFORE I was even an entrepreneur.
And to be honest…my confidence has only gone downhill since then.
I mean don’t get me wrong…I’m confident…but I’m not AS confident.
Not even close.
That was like a COMPLETELY different version of myself.
But you know what?
It was JUST ME!
The RAWEST version of myself.
Nothing added on top of it.
And for years and years and years…
I haven’t experienced that version of myself.
I’m only a few days into sobriety but the rage that’s building inside of me SHOWING ME how small I’ve been playing is something that would have been VERY beneficial to me a long time ago.
My anger is working as FUEL to show me how small I’ve been playing.
Where previously I would have just said anger is a BAD thing…
Now I’m not judging it and I’m allowing it to show me what I’ve been missing in a BIG way.
Weed is one of MANY devices in our lives that can make “Everything Seem Okay.”
What I’d ask of YOU is to IDENTIFY those devices in your life and spend some time WITHOUT them.
Spend some time with just YOU, your RAWEST form, and see how powerful you REALLY are.
When that pain comes up, SIT WITH IT and FEEL IT and then let it bend an ACTION PLAN into place for you, vs. just ignoring it completely by numbing it out with something that does that, whether that’s weed, TV, social media, WHATEVER.
You deserve to spend some time with YOU.
The RAWEST and REALEST version of you.
And although I’m a bit pissy right now…
I am already excited about fully embracing this version of me because we have been fighting a war against each other for a VERY long time, and I’m excited to finally make peace.
BIG MOVES come from that kind of peace.
But you have to open up your vulnerable side to get there.
I wish you the best my friend and I hope you accomplish ALL you set out to do.
Don’t be afraid to strip everything away that isn’t the RAWEST version of yourself, even if you’re going through the most INTENSE shit of your life right now, because the REAL power is in THAT version of you, not the version you numb out when the pains and problems appear on the table in front of you.
Look those pains in the eye and then pull them close as you sink the dagger into their heart and SMILE.
Don’t hide from them or they’ll only get worse.
My friend, I’ll keep you updated on my journey.
And for all those who supported me, thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I’m doing something very vulnerable I haven’t done EVER really and the support means the world to me.
I started January fired up…but only for business. And so I spent the month doing LITERALLY 18-20 hour days at the desk with a $100-$200 a day GrubHub spend.
I had a HUGE pot belly. It was getting harder to breathe when walking and stuff. Man titties were starting to come in (come on, we know that’s the scariest one!!!) More chins than Chinatown started making their way into the picture.
Not ONE of these lines on my body was even REMOTELY close to showing and I had ZERO HINT of any definition.
But “Fuck Health!” because…
“I’m in launch mode.”
“I’m building something BIG.”
“I’m building something that will CHANGE LIVES!”
“I’m going to be doing $100K a month with this in a BLINK!”
“I just need to CONDENSE TIME and get this done!!!”
BULLSHIT. BULLSHIT. BULLSHIT.
I sat in front of a screen and sucked down sugary coffee drinks while eating processed fucking sandwiches and smoking a dozen joints to the face during the day to “make it okay”.
“I’ll just rebalance the health LATER!”
“I’ll get back into it AFTER I launch.”
The lies we tell ourselves, right?
MEANWHILE…my friends…my fucking BROTHERS…
“Ben, want to come to Whole Foods with us?”
“Ben, stop cracking your neck. Come to the chiro with us.”
“Ben, let’s hit the gym man! We’re about to go!!!”
I fucking snapped.
I SNAPPED when I realized how far on the wrong side of the fence I was.
I signed up for the gym and started going more days of the week than I wasn’t going.
I signed up for the chiro and started going weekly and it’s already helped YEARS worth of neck pain.
I started going to Whole Foods and taking the time to INVEST in my body instead of just ordering low-quality food online.
I started hitting the run and fast incline walks at the ends of my workouts to burn of excess fat.
I started hitting the Saunas and Steam Rooms at the gym after the workouts to detoxify my body and cool down.
I started learning about what kinds of supplements and hacks I could add onto an already healthy routine to amplify it.
I’m not shred-city with an 8-pack (YET) but fuck, three weeks ago I had ZERO lines on my body, just flab and fat and a belly that was poking out trying to touch the mirror.
I’ve made such big progress in such a short amount of time.
And look, I’ve gained weight, lost weight, repeated that loop before. But I’ve never been as on-fucking-fire as I am right now.
And you know WHY?
Because of the TRIBE!
Because my BROTHERS who I would literally real-life-kill-someone to protect PUSHED ME and DIDN’T STOP PUSHING ME even when I fought and fought and fought.
They saw me having the $1,000 days.
They saw me hitting new levels in business.
And they would congratulate me for it…
…and then REMIND ME of what I’d SACRIFICED (that I didn’t NEED to sacrifice, KEY POINT) to get there.
And I snapped.
I’ve lost 11 pounds of beta-fuckboy-fat in these past 3 weeks.
I’ve been eating clean.
My confidence levels are out of control like they’ve NEVER been even when I’ve had my biggest business days ever.
It’s allowed me to open myself up to a 90 Day 100% Sobriety Split Test which I NEVER thought I’d be able to do (haven’t been 90 days sober EVER since end of middle school).
I said earlier I’ll be making $100,000+ per month by my birthday on July 10, 2018.
It was a promise I wouldn’t have been able to fulfill had I not made these changes in my lifestyle…
…and those changes in my lifestyle would have NEVER happened if it wasn’t for my BROTHERS pushing me and pushing me towards the REAL version of me that has it all…
…not some fake beta version who can kill it in business and sacrifices all other areas of life to get there.
You owe it to YOU to be in the best shape you can be.
And you owe it to the MARKETPLACE because you’re just straight up not going to deliver at the levels you COULD deliver at if you’re out of shape because you’re so go-go-go on the business that you don’t have time to pull your head out of the sand.
Tai said he used to know a guy who had BILLIONS of dollars but was so fat he couldn’t even get out of bed.
I was LITERALLY headed down that path.
Grateful to have BROTHERS in a TRIBE that are willing to call me on my shit and PUSH ME to do what needs to be done to be the best version of myself ever.
I’ve never been in a mental state like this before and all this shit JUST started. Imagine where I am a year from now. It’s going to be fucking ridiculous.
Give yourself this gift my friend.
We live in a time where growing wealth AND health side by side is easier than ever if you don’t make up your own limitations in your mind.
If you’d asked my 6 months ago if I’d be spending over 24 hours sitting in planes rocketing off to the other side of the world so that I could spend a month in Bali, Indonesia I would have said you were crazy.
Yet here I sit…in my outdoor kitchen facing the pool here in, you guessed it, Bali Indonesia.
What a trip! I have the gift of being able to pass out on planes before they’re wheels up so while most people were busy telling me about how much it would suck to be in a plane for that long, I was busy enjoying dreamland and checking out beautiful views whenever I happened to wake up. Side Note: If a waitress on Singapore airlines ever offers you a drink called a “Singapore-Sling” take it…it’s pretty tasty.
Anyway, here I am! Beautiful Bali! I was staying at a friend’s house for a few days and just grabbed the villa beside his and I’ll be here for a month until December starts. Then it’s back to the states to lock down a place in Vegas to have that “U.S. Base” I know I need and then who knows what’s next from there.
That’s the beauty of living life on your own terms, even after the grueling years of struggle to set this life up. And that painstaking process has led me to Bali, which has taught me so much in just the few short days that I’ve been here. I can only imagine what I’ll experience and learn when I’ve been here for a whole month but for now here are 6 key things I’ve learned in my first 6 days in Bali.
1. You Can Change Everything In An INSTANT
MAN this is a biggie!!! I was overpaying for an apartment in California that I HATED and it had turned into my little comfort zone even though it wasn’t that comfortable to live in with the screeching planes outside, fighting neighbors I could hear through the walls and crying baby I could hear in the apartment above. I found myself COMPLAINING and if you know me, you know I’m not one to complain, so that’s a big deal for me when I catch myself doing it.
Anyway, I was talking to a friend and business partner Chris on Facebook and I’d occasionally slip in a complaint about the apartment. Whenever I did he would instantly invite me out to Bali to come stay with him for a while to “get away from it all”. I joked “Yea yea, for sure bro, I’ll have to do that someday” but in reality I knew I’d never pull the trigger on it.
One day something inside of me snapped (maybe it was having baby problems with no baby!) and I got rid of EVERYTHING (didn’t even bother selling it), condensed everything I owned to 3 bags, and I got on a plane and LEFT!!!
I emailed my complex LATER and told them I moved out. They hit me with a fee of over $3,000 since I didn’t give 30 days notice on leaving but who cares. Money isn’t real, doesn’t control me anymore and that was the best fee I ever paid. Because I was essentially paying for my freedom, making the decision first and worrying about any “repercussions” later.
I went from being miserable in an apartment I hated to writing this blog post poolside in paradise and it only took one decision that I ACTED ON right away. You can literally change whatever you want in your life, but you’re the only person who can pull the trigger on it and actually make it happen. Never forget that nobody else can do it for you.
2. Change Isn’t As Scary As We Think It Is
Ever heard that saying “It’s all in your head”? Well it’s 110% true! I’ll be honest, when I was first boarding my planes to come out to Indonesia, (San Diego to San Francisco to South Korea to Singapore to Indonesia) I had some fears about missing flights, getting held up at customs, whether the TSA would let my Kangen K8 machine through that probably looks like a bomb in my suitcase, all those good little fictional worries that were dancing around in my head.
Guess how many of them came true? ZERO. But they APPEARED because my mind was trying to get me to stay in that comfort zone, to avoid change at all costs.
I made all my flights even though I got shuffled around to all kinds of different airlines and the only time I got “lost” was when the cab driver in Bali accidentally drove me 5 minutes away from my friend’s villa and we got there 5 minutes later after punching in new directions. All the fears I had were all in my head.
The fears of what it’s like to condense all my belongings to a few bags, not have an “official U.S. residence”, to jet off to the other side of the world spontaneously, etc. etc. It was all in my head.
It’s critical to understand that your reptilian pre-historic brain is still trying to run the show. “Stay in the cave, don’t go outside, the big animals will eat you!”. That equates to the modern day version of just sitting in your living room, watching TV and not going on adventures (certainly not to a place you’ve never been on the other side of the world!) because that would rip you out of your comfort zone and you could face a terrible demise.
This part of your brain will always be ON. But you can quiet the voice of it down and remember that it’s not in control, not the voice that you have to listen to.
3. Life Rewards You When You Try New Things
One of the first things my friend Chris told me when I got here was that I needed to learn how to ride a Scooter because it was the easiest way to get around. Funny thing is, I’ve gotten so used to just Ubering everywhere in California that I hadn’t even driven a car in the last TWO YEARS because hey, I could just Uber everywhere! Crazy right?
Even crazier that me “learning how to drive again” would involve a scooter on busy roads in Indonesia. Not exactly what I expected as my reintroduction to driving, but often times life is not what we’re expecting at all!
Day one I sucked. I was gunning it, probably looked like “THAT American” who had no idea how to drive one, and almost jetted straight into a rice paddy in front of a bunch of beautiful Australian girls (super sexy move right?). I only saved myself by hitting the brakes and slamming my feet down, but unfortunately for my left big toe I was wearing flip flops and the scooter dragged my toe on the ground and ripped off a layer of it on the top. I still have the blood on my flip-flops if you ever want to see the evidence!
Anyway, we were on our way to my first surf lesson but instead we drove back so I could clean my wound and as soon as it was cleaned, my mind came up with about a hundred brilliant reasons why I should abandon the scooter for good and just take taxis everywhere. I was about to go along with it too until my friend Chris again assured me it was the easiest way to get around and that once I got it, it would be as easy as riding a bike.
Fast forward to the next time we went out for me to practice driving a scooter and it felt like second nature after a while and the sharp turns and crowded streets no longer bothered me. I’m not 100% yet but I’m sure I’ll be there in the next 2-3 times I go out with it.
Because I kept going out on it, I saw beautiful sights from a perspective I wouldn’t have seen them from otherwise, got to feel the feeling of the warm wind in my face as I jetted down long roads past the temples and rice fields with a big old grin covering my face. I was rewarded for trying new things and without trying those new things I wouldn’t have gotten that reward. It’s as simple as that.
4. Mother Nature Is Our Greatest Teacher
99% of the time, who are we “learning” from? Humans. Makes sense right? We ARE humans. Or at least we THINK we are, but that’s a rabbit hole for a different blog post! I now see this as a big mistake in my book because although there’s so much we can learn from our species, when we’re ONLY looking at our species for lessons we are completely missing lessons from mother nature herself, and she’s got the BEST lessons.
I’ll see a beetle here die and minutes later a hundred ants come from out of nowhere and carry it’s body that’s twenty five times their size VERTICALLY up a wooden pole to their nest. Then I’ll see the lizard that’s there waiting for them at the top to pick them off since he knows where they’re going to go and then I’ll see the exact same process the next day with different beetles, different ants and different lizards. Nature is always in MOTION. It’s always INTERCONNECTED. And it’s always working together in perfect harmony.
The beetle is not thinking “Ah there are so many things I regret!” before it dies. It lives and it dies. The ants are not reading motivational ant books about how to move a giant beetle vertically up a pole. They just get together and make it happen. And the lizard is not thinking “What if I run out of ants to eat?” It knows there is an abundance of them and will be more everywhere he turns. In short, nature doesn’t OVERTHINK…and neither should YOU, for you’re a part of nature after all 😉
5. There Is Beauty Everywhere You Look
I’ve never seen a sunset like the ones I’ve seen in Bali. I try to capture them on my iPhone and even though the pictures look beautiful when I post them it doesn’t even come close to what it looks like in reality. I’ll have to buy a nice camera soon to see if I can capture a more realistic shot of the sunsets here. And that’s just at NIGHT! During the day I see the rice fields, the temples, the smiling faces of the Balinese people I walk past in the street, and I’m reminded that there is beauty EVERYWHERE I look.
And the biggest lesson there of all was that the beauty wasn’t JUST something I saw when I got to Bali. There was beauty in that apartment building I hated living in. There was beauty in the late nights when I would hustle to get out of my current situation and into a new one. There was beauty in living somewhere I didn’t really want to live and having that lead me to make big moves that drastically pivoted the way in which I see the world.
In short, there wasn’t beauty JUST when I got from A to B. There was just as much beauty in point A because it made point B a reality. Where would I be if I didn’t have so much I had to overcome? How much weaker would I be if I didn’t have to go through so many obstacles to get to where I am now?
There is BEAUTY in your life, even if you can’t see it yet. If you push through it you’ll wind up a much more beautiful version of yourself inside and out with a much more physically beautiful view around you, but don’t forget that without the mud there is no lotus so there is beauty in your struggles as well.
6. Allow Contrast To Increase Your Gratitude
I would have been grateful just staying in a room in my friend’s beautiful villa, let alone deciding to pull the trigger and get the whole villa next door for myself for the month of November. When I climbed up the stairs and gazed over the beautiful view of the fields and the buildings, I noticed a little shack to my left put together with spare metal, and I learned later it was the home of a decent-sized family. The average worker here makes under $2,000 USD per year, farmers probably even less, even though they’re the salt of this earth.
Yet everyone seems happy. Offerings are seen all over the streets every day for the gods the Balinese worship. I hear them singing and worshipping in the fields, setting off fireworks, eating as families outside at night while they smile and laugh. It’s truly a beautiful sight, and I’m grateful it’s one that I get to see for a whole month.
When you read “under $2,000 per year” maybe you cringed a little bit as did I when I first looked up those stats. But money isn’t what it’s about. It never is. It’s about living the good life, being happy, experiencing joy with those you love more often than not, and spreading that love wherever you go. That’s what the people here do.
I know they have less worries than we do even though I’ve talked to so few of them. You can just see it on their faces. And it’s a contrast between lives I never would have seen if I didn’t make the move out here to see what life somewhere else besides my “comfort zone” was really like.
I’m forever grateful to be learning so much so quickly in Bali even though I’ve only been here for a few days and I promise to keep sharing what I’m experiencing and learning with you so that you can experience it in a way too. Come out here sometime. Don’t stay at a big swanky resort that doesn’t give you a real taste of what the culture is like. You can get a nice villa right in the heart of everything and experience the real Bali, the real Canggu without that “two steps removed” feeling of staying at a big hotel or something, even though sometimes that experience is great as well.
Wherever you go, wherever your travels take you, enter them with two eyes open so that you can truly take in the magnificence of a new place on earth, and all the lessons that come with it. Lessons you can apply to your life, your business, your relationships, your view of the world and most importantly your view of yourself and the path YOU are walking down. The view doesn’t change from your comfort zone, but it certainly does when you step out of it. Never forget that.
I still remember waking up with a frown on my face, almost disappointed that there was another day that I had to “get through”. I didn’t know where I was going. And I felt like even if I knew, there was no way I was ever going to get there.
Ever felt that before? It’s brutal, totally drains you.
These were during the days before I went FULL TIME in the world of entrepreneurship, those days where I had the shitty job I was trying to get away from but the business was barely even PART time, let alone stable enough to support me.
I was always an entrepreneur though, don’t get me wrong, selling things since I was a little kid.
But I wasn’t always SUCCESSFUL as one, in more ways than financially.
I wasn’t always fulfilled. I wasn’t always this motivated. And I certainly wasn’t always experiencing this much upside.
Even now feeling like I’m on “the other side” of things, it’s still a challenge. The more a business grows and the more YOU grow, the more problems you’ll have. But they’re better QUALITY problems.
But they’re better QUALITY problems.
That’s the important part to pay attention to that so many ignore.
You see, here are some problems I had BEFORE I was able to support myself full time in the world of entrepreneurship, particularly through the world of running online businesses:
Had to get up earlier than I wanted because of my job
Had to waste time and gas money driving to and from a job
Had a job I didn’t enjoy that I didn’t have any passion for
Had a VERY low job paycheck only come once every two weeks
Had to be told when I could or couldn’t take breaks at work
Had to get treated like crap by employees that I couldn’t fire
Had to waste hours of my life doing something I didn’t love
My problems were all centered about not being FREE! This is very important to notice. Look at the problems in your life and find that central theme. If the central theme revolves around feeling restricted or not feeling free, having a successful business WILL help alleviate those problems over time.
Now here’s the key. PAY ATTENTION!!!
Most people want to “never have problems again” and “just fix everything”.
This is literally impossible. So don’t even think about it!
The goal should be to UPGRADE your problems. And if there is one group of people who are always experiencing better and better problems in their lives, it’s the entrepreneur.
Here are a few of the “problems” our team has experienced lately:
Accounts closing for making too much money too fast
Overwhelmed by which potential 8 figure project to kick off first
Too excited about all the different ways to make more money
Too many messages in our inboxes to even respond to daily
Scaling projects up to figure out how to turn $1 into $10
Notice how I didn’t say “Entrepreneurship started working and now all of the sudden I don’t have any problems!”? Exactly. There will ALWAYS be “problems” but you just want better quality problems.
For example, can we agree that it’s better quality problem if you’re making SO MUCH money that now you have to find out a way to get clever with taxes? Vs. having the problem of never making enough money so you’re always worried about bills and how you’re going to make rent?
So…by now you’re probably wondering how it is that you can get away from all the little BS problems in your life and actually have some problems that MATTER…some fun problems…some “you know you’re playing big WHEN” problems.
How do we upgrade our problems?
It’s simple. We start by upgrading ourselves by upgrading the people we learn from.
It’s all about modeling. Find someone who has higher quality problems than you on a consistent basis and then work closely with them in business and soon you’ll have those problems too.
Imagine if I was trying to learn business from someone who’s regular problems are “the boss was mean this week” and “John from accounting is a real piece of shit!”
You’ll never get wealthy talking about “water cooler problems”. Those are the small ones that people talk about before they realize the true game that’s being played and their true power.
Once you’re around these people, getting mentored by them, implementing the advice they give you and WORKING WITH THEM then it’s only a matter of time before all your little BS problems seemingly fade away only to make room for big, new, exciting problems. And those are the ones you want.
Because when you figure out how to solve THOSE…you get to design an unbelievable lifestyle for yourself that many people only dream of. And on your way there you’ll be increasing the quality of your life so fast that you don’t even recognize what you were stressing about just a few short months ago.