I’ve been mind-fucked all day. Like REALLY mind fucked.
There’s an important lesson in the following story for you.
I bet you even raise your standards after reading it…
So there’s an investment I will be making soon with a mentor.
I had someone reach out on Facebook asking about something I could help him with and I quoted him just north of the investment price.
I figured, hey why not make this investment with brand new money that this guy is about to give me.
That was my first mistake.
It was looking at it through a limited viewpoint and the deal should have been for multiple 5-figures instead of 4-figures.
Anyway, let’s continue:
I told him what I’d do for him.
Then told him the price.
Then told him to let me know where to send the invoice if he wanted in.
He told me the email and I sent the invoice.
Most people pay instantly because most people I work with are cool.
Surprise, surprise…he did not pay instantly.
He then tried to call me later that night.
I don’t know about you, but I keep a pretty tight schedule and I don’t just answer calls when people call me just like how I don’t just answer the door if I hear the doorbell when I’m not expecting anybody.
These were already TWO warning signs: not paying instantly and calling me later after saying he was already good.
I then made my NEXT mistake and told him that I’d be down for a quick call to answer any questions he might have.
Now look, you might be the “whatever it takes” type that does sales calls to close the deal and that’s fine.
But I hate that shit TO DEATH.
Can I do them? Yes.
Can I do them WELL? Yes.
Do I DESPISE doing them and trading a chunk of my life to try to CONVINCE somebody to do something vs. spending the same chunk of my life on the phone with a business mentor or partner learning/planning something new?
YES! YES! YES!
But my limited viewpoint said:
“Hey we will just get on this call, get the money, make the investment from the new money and then deal with this guy and get him off to the races on his project.”
OH…I also SWORE a while ago I’d stop taking on clients.
Like FOR GOOD.
And I broke my word…TO MYSELF!
Because “client money is easy money” and “it helps people”.
Watch out for those.
They don’t come from a bad place but they can bite you in the ass!
Anyway, not I’m also ON HIS SIDE OF THE COURT.
I’m now bending my schedule so I can go do a sales call (which I never do) and I just ASSUME (next mistake, common theme here, huh?) that it will be a QUICK call since the invoice was already sent out.
I ask him if he can do the call now and get no response.
Then I reach out a little while later and ask again, no response.
Then HE tells me he can do a call at 6:00pm PST.
I text him at 6 asking if he’s ready for the call and he tells me “He’s folding laundry.”
Now honestly, I know what you’re thinking right now:
“Ben what in the FUCK? This dude is OBVIOUSLY a lost cause. Go watch a cat video on YouTube or fall down a flight of stairs or SOMETHING to make better use of your time.”
You’d have been looking through the view of “Let’s value Ben’s precious, FINITE time”
I was looking through the view of “Get quick money for investment and help this dude”
Again…WATCH OUT FOR THOSE!
So I just call the dude and tell him he can talk to me while he folds laundry.
I started by asking for more clarity on what he wanted his product to be about that I was going to coach him on putting together because he had said it would be about “Money and Relationships” on Facebook, kinda fucking vague, no?
He now throws some shit about TAXES in there.
And then says he’s going to teach people how to avoid the tax mistakes he made because he currently owes almost $20,000 to the government on taxes.
If I wasn’t mind-fucked enough already…I was DEFINITELY mind-fucked now.
I decided to steer him in a different direction.
I WAS ON THE PHONE FOR FUCKING 90 MINUTES WITH THE DUDE.
Part of the deal was 4 coaching sessions with me.
I even offered ONE of those for FREE since he was getting a bundle deal from me.
I know, I know.
“Quick new money for investment, help somebody.”
Anyway, the dude just rambles about the craziest shit for like 90 minutes.
I’m totally not controlling the conversation.
I’m a fucking rocket ship departure from being on “The Straight Line” as Jordan Belfort calls it where you need to keep the person on the sales conversation and not get “off the line” into all kinds of OTHER conversations.
This dude is talking about fucking government conspiracies, biology, market conditions, relationship advice, you name it and he was rambling on about it.
I somehow made it through the call and actually gave the dude like a crystal clear plan of how he could take all the madness stirring around in his head (some of it was actually decent ideas I’ll admit) and tie it together into a membership site.
He was stoked he now had a game plan.
At the end of the call I told him I had the invoice waiting for him and that we could get rocking and rolling right away as soon as he filled that.
We get off the call and my energy is zapped.
I basically ate a feast and then passed out.
Invoice wasn’t paid.
Sent a reminder the next day.
Sent a joke.
Quickly slipped in another reminder about the invoice.
I FINALLY let my gut instinct talk to me on this one and it instantly goes:
“Block that fucker.”
AND I IGNORED MY GUT INSTINCT!
(Which by the way is ALWAYS right, if it’s actually coming from a pure place)
I sent over one last reminder about the invoice and then suddenly:
I get the sob story.
He tells me his bank account is negative and he can send me a pic of it.
He says he has a leak in the roof and DOES send me a picture of that (who am I, a handyman?)
He says he’s trying to retire his mom (yea me too dude, that’s why I was tolerating shit like this!)
He offers to give me a, and I quote this word for word, “Kevin O’Leary Shark Tank deal on the membership course where I get a cut of the profits with interest if I help him launch it”.
That’s when I just said “Ah fuck it gut instinct, shoulda listened to you alllllll alongggggg” and then…
I BLOCKED HIS ASS.
Facebook block…in case you were thinking something crazy there.
I went back on Facebook and of course the universe showed me:
A post from one of my mentors.
He was talking about raising his standards and his boundaries and how he was going to stop helping people for free because he already had AMPLE amounts of content that helped people for free on sites like YouTube and his blog and stuff.
He went on to say that he was doing his PAID members a HUGE disservice if he helped THEM and then ALSO helped people that weren’t paying a dime, when his clients were investing their hard-earned money to get help from him.
I sat there mind-fucked.
I mean, let’s be honest…I was mind-fucked like 5 minutes into this process but I somehow made it through.
I had let some dude jerk me all over the place and waste THOUSANDS of dollars worth of my time simply because I was looking through the limited viewpoint of “Fast client money, quick money for this investment, blah blah blah”
INSTANTLY I took out a piece of paper.
I drew a line down the middle.
I wrote “Things I LOVE” on the left side.
I wrote “Things I HATE” on the right side.
This one was PURELY about business.
It’s now tacked up in front of me on the wall in front of my desk as a bittersweet reminder.
I’ll spare you the details, but I just sat there and wanted to cry after looking at it.
The “Things I HATE” column was far larger than the “Things I LOVE” column.
And I realized that for basically a DECADE in my business…
…I was doing almost 100% of the things I HATE and almost 0% of the things I LOVE.
I then REALLY looked at it and realized none of the things I hate to do would even SCALE UP to the levels I wanted them to scale to and everything I wrote down that I LOVED would scale to the FREAKING MOON!
I sat there mind-fucked.
I felt heavy and light at the same time…if you know that feeling.
I felt PISSED at myself and also felt FORGIVENESS for myself at the same time…if you know that one, trickier one.
I questioned why I’d spent so much time with a person who would have usually been GONE at the first red flag I got out of them.
And then I realized it…
This was a GIFT!!!
I had been operating for so long in one way (doing the non-scalable shit I HATE) that the universe literally had to throw me off a cliff for a second to draw my attention to it because all the subtle hints weren’t doing shit.
It placed the biggest boundary-breaker standards-slashing person EVER in front of me and wasted a TON of my time all at once and then also put that post from my mentor in front of me IMMEDIATELY AFTER so that I could see the stark contrast of how I was acting.
And look what I have NOW!
One less energy-vampire to deal with.
AWARENESS of everything I HATE doing in business.
AWARENESS of everything I LOVE doing in business.
And my mind is now looking at the LOVE side and mapping out AND executing the systems that are going to place me there full time.
It’s funny, whenever I do what I love I make the most money and have the biggest impact and the least worries.
And then I drift from it.
But no more.
The universe slapped me in the fucking FACE on this one and let me have it all at once.
I’m eternally grateful that I listened…that I took it all in…that I was able to see the GIFT in all of this.
Now I get to focus on doing what I love and have MUCH better results than I’ve ever gotten before.
And that viewpoint I was looking through of “Well this will be easy money and help somebody”…
…I realized to be totally false because by doing what I LOVE I’ll be able to make the most SCALABLE money and have the most SCALABLE impact and most importantly build a wall between me and the fuckboys while allowing all the awesome people allowed INSIDE my kingdom to PROSPER.
And now I feel good.
Writing this helped a lot.
I forget how therapeutic this shit is for me.
I feel JUST the light side now.
I feel JUST the forgiveness side now.
And I’m actually EXCITED to go out there and do what I love to do, scale it up and create some massive waves of cash and have a massive impact on the world around me like never before.
My questions I’d ask of YOU are:
Where are you LOWERING your standards just to get XYZ result?
Where are you LOWERING your boundaries just to get XYZ result?
Is there a BETTER way to get that result that actually involves you RAISING your boundaries and standards?
When’s the last time you made a “Things I HATE Doing In Business” list?
How many things on that list are you doing that you don’t need to be?
When’s the last time you made a “Things I LOVE Doing In Business” list?
How many things on that list are you SACRIFICING because of some story you told yourself?
How can you cut the things you HATE and replace them with those you LOVE?
Take some time and reflect on this.
You don’t have to go through the same thousands of dollars worth of time wasted to come up with the same clarity I am feeling right now.
Just answer those questions for yourself…
Meditate on them…
And most importantly…STAY TRUE to whatever it is you write down.
It very well could change your life forever…if you let it 😉